South Park vs Seth MacFarlane Universe Survivor
by southspringfield2822
Summary: The long, long, long anticipated second season of Survivor is here! This time, we're in Australia with eight kids from South Park and eight people from the Seth MacFarlane shows. Who will win the million? Featuring Season 1's runner-up Bart Simpson as host!
1. Chapter 1

South Park vs. MacFarlane Survivor

Episode 1  


(The camera pans over the landscape of the outback country of eastern Australia. The picture then zooms in on Season 1's runner-up, Bart Simpson.)

Bart: Hey! I bet you didn't expect to see me here, did ya? As it turns out, the runner-up from the previous season is contractually obligated to host the next season. So, instead of lounging on the couch watching re-runs of Itchy & Scratchy, I have to baby-sit, I mean host sixteen new contestants for this season of Survivor. This time, we're in Australia as 8 kids from South Park, Colorado and 8 people from the Seth MacFarlane universe are set to do battle for one million dollars. (Looks out at the ocean where he hears a noise in the distance) It looks as if the survivors are about to arrive, so let's go meet them now.

(Bart walks over to the shore of east Australia as two motorboats carrying eight survivors each land on the beach. Out of the first motorboat emerge eight short white kids dressed in winter clothing despite the warm climate. These are the new members of the South Park tribe, who will wear brown clothes. They are, in no particular order: Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kyle's brother Ike Broflovski, Wendy Testaburger, Bebe Stevens, Kenny McCormick and Butters Stotch.)

Bart: What up, South Park Tribe? I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?

Kenny: (words muffled by his orange parka)

Bart: Wait, what did he say?

Kyle: He said his name is Kenny, and I'm Kyle. Nice to meet you. (Kyle and Bart shake hands.)

Cartman: Don't trust him Bart, he's a dirty ginger Jersey Jew rat.

Kyle: Shut the (bleep) up Cartman.

Cartman: (Bleep) you Kyle, you (bleep)ing asshole.

Bart: Ay caramba! The guys in charge of censorship are going to be busy this season.

(While that is going on, eight more survivors emerge from the second motorboat. These are the members of the MacFarlane Tribe, who will wear orange. They are: Peter Griffin, Lois Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glen Quagmire, Cleveland Brown, Stan Smith, Francine Smith, and lastly, Brian Griffin, the host from Season 1.)

Bart: What up Brian? I haven't seen you since the final tribal council.

Brian: Nothing out of the ordinary. Sipping martinis, traveling back in time with Stewie, chasing down cars for reasons I can't remember. Good times, really good times. You spend your money yet?

Bart: I gave it all to the Elementary School so they would stay closed for the whole school year. All the kids in Springfield are stoked. Well, except for Lisa, of course. (speaking to everyone now) Anyway, everyone gather around! Welcome to Australia! I'm sure you all know the rules, so let's get down to busi…(Peter raises his hand). What is it, Peter?

Peter: I have to go potty.

Bart: (sighs) You know, you remind me a lot of my dad, and not in a good way. Moving on, it's time for your first challenge. In front of you are two stacks of crates containing your tribes' supplies. For this challenge, you must go through the contents of each crate and find the flag. Once you've found your flag, you must raise it to the top of the makeshift flagpole that corresponds to your team color. The first team to raise their flag to the top will receive flint as a reward to help start a fire. Are you guys ready?

Stan Marsh: Does it really matter if we're ready or not?

Bart: (chuckles) Of course not. Either way you're going to have to do the challenge, and either way I'm going back to my five-star hotel 10 miles down the road as soon as this is over.

Kyle: Dude, what the hell? Why do you get to stay in a five-star hotel?

Bart: Well, you don't expect me to stay out here with you guys, do you? (several survivors glare at Bart) Anyway, let's get this show on the road, man! Survivors Ready…GO!

[The members of the South Park and MacFarlane tribes run over to their piles of supplies and get to work looking for their team flag. South Park finds their flag fairly quickly, but the MacFarlane tribe is hot on their heels. South Park maintains their slight lead as they start cranking the flag up the flagpole. However, the superior size and strength of the MacFarlane tribe comes into play, as they raise their flag to the top first to claim the first challenge.]

Bart: Way to go MacFarlane Tribe! Here is the flint for your victory…use it well. You'll also find a map and compass among your supplies so that you can find your campsites. So, go ahead and get settled in while I go back to the hotel to relax in my hottub. (groans from some of the survivors , particularly the South Park tribe, as they leave to find their campsites) Hahaha! This hosting gig might not be so bad after all.

South Park Tribe: Day 1

(The South Park tribe members set down their supplies in a sandy opening by a small creek surrounded by vegetation. Morale is slightly down among the tribe members after losing the first challenge, and Kyle and Cartman's shouting match isn't helping matters.)

Cartman: (bleep)it Kyle you filthy (bleep)in Jew! You cost us the first challenge.

Kyle: Hey, we lose as a team fatass! (pauses) Besides, if anyone screwed us out of the challenge, it's Bebe. She didn't lift a finger to help.

Bebe: Um, excuse me?

Cartman: Yeah…well, everyone knows Jews aren't strong enough to perform backbreaking labor like raising flags. It's a proven scientific fact.

Wendy: Oh my god, both of you shut up and help us put together the shelter!

(The tribe splits into two groups. Kyle, Stan, Ike, Wendy and Bebe get to work on the shelter while Cartman, Butters, and Kenny try to get a fire going. Ever the schemer, Cartman wastes no time trying to put together an alliance.)

Cartman: Alright guys, so who are we voting out first?

Butters: Uhhhh…what do you mean Eric?

Cartman: Come on Butters, don't you know how this damn game works?! It isn't about survival. It's about ganging up on people and stabbing them in the back.

Butters: Oh, alrighty then. Who should we vote off then, fellas?

Cartman: I got a bad feeling about Kyle. If he stays here too long, we could all be infected with Gingervitis.

Butters: Oh, hamburgers!

Kenny: (muffled voice)

Cartman: Oh yeah, well who did you have in mind, Kenny?

Kenny: (muffled voice)

Cartman: Bebe? Hmm…well Kyle was right about one thing. She didn't help out too much during the challenge. I'll think about it.

_Kyle: While working on the shelter, I kept an eye on Cartman over by the fire, and it looked like he's trying to get Butters and Kenny on his side. Probably trying to get them to vote me off. Well, there's five of us and three of them, so as long as we have the numbers, we should be fine._

_Ike: Ike made a no-no!_

MacFarlane Tribe: Day 1

(Thanks to the flint, the MacFarlane tribe already has their fire going as they start setting up along the same creek just a few miles downstream from the South Park tribe. Lois and Francine are working on the lean-to while Peter, Cleveland, Quagmire and Stan Smith relax by the fire. Infuriated by her husband's laziness, Lois walks over and interrupts their conversation.)

Lois: Are you bums going to lift a finger to help us or what?

Peter: Oh, I would Lois, but I think I threw out my back carrying the supplies to camp.

Lois: You seem fine to me.

Peter: Oh, but I'm not. I'm really not. (A noticeablely peeved Lois leaves to help Francine with the lean-to.) Aw man, this is such a drag. I signed up for this show to get away from my nagging wife, and she ends up joining me. (trying to imitate Lois's voice) Oh Peter, this will be a great chance to bond as a couple.

Stan Smith: I feel you Peter. I couldn't wait to get here and get away from the family for a while, and then Francine decides to join me at the last minute. What's up with that?

Cleveland: Well, if you guys want them gone so bad, then you should form one of those alliances to kick them out.

Peter: Great idea Cleveland! You in, Quagmire?

Quagmire: (hesitant to reply) Uhh…I don't know guys. I mean, I'm not sure if I want this tribe to become a sausage fest, if you catch my drift.

Peter: Suit yourself. We don't need your help. We could always get Brian and Stewie in on the deal. Speaking of which, have any of you guys seen Brian and Stewie? (All the guys shrug their shoulders and go back to relaxing by the campfire. Meanwhile, we cut to Brian and Stewie in the middle of forming their own partnership.)

Stewie: So, it's agreed, right?

Brian: Sure, sounds good to me.

Stewie: With my cunning and physical prowess, and your knowledge of the game as last season's host, we will be an unstoppable team. Victory shall be ours!

Brian: Yeah, victory shall be….whoa, wait a minute, did you say physical prowess?

_Quagmire: For the longest time, I've had the hots for Lois, and now's my chance to finally score with her. All I gotta do is get rid of Peter first, and then Lois and I will be up all night. Oh, giggity giggity goo!_

Day 3: Immunity Challenge

(The South Park and MacFarlane tribes are already at the challenge spot, but there's no Bart. Finally, after fifteen minutes of waiting, the Devil's Cabana Boy arrives on his skateboard.)

Bart: Sorry I'm late, my spa treatment ran a little long. (groans of jealousy from several survivors) Anyways, how's everyone holding up so far?

Wendy: (sarcastically) Well, we have no shelter and no fire. Other than that, we're just swell.

Bart: Well Wendy, your tribe's luck may just change with this first immunity challenge. For this challenge, each tribe has a chest filled with puzzle pieces. However, the chests are locked, so you must first find the keys, which are hidden somewhere in the nearby forest. Once you've found your tribe's key and unlocked the chest, you will need to put the pieces together to solve the puzzle. First team to do that wins immunity and is exempt for tonight's tribal council. Everyone ready. (survivors nod in agreement) Okay, GO!

[Most of the survivors sprint into the forest to look for the key while others stay with the chest. The South Park tribe, led by Stan and Kyle, scatter through the forest, searching high and low while the MacFarlane tribe, led by Lois and Quagmire, decide to stick together. Stan finds South Park's key first and dashes back towards the chest. A few minutes later, Brian locates the key to his tribe's chest. However, by the time he gets back, South Park is already working on the puzzle. Bebe, who is put in charge of the puzzle, seems at a loss as to how to solve it. This allows the MacFarlane tribe, led by the superior mindpower of Stewie, to come from behind, solve the puzzle first and steal immunity.]

Bart: Ay caramba, congratulations MacFarlane tribe on another comeback win! Here's the immunity idol, and all eight of you are in the game for at least another three days. (Bart hands the immunity idol, which is a mini totem pole depicting a kangaroo, a dingo and a koala, to Peter. The South Park tribe members dejectedly walk back to their camp.)

South Park Tribe: Day 3

(Stan and Kyle are out in the forest looking for food.)

Stan Marsh: Dude, Bebe has got to go tonight. She's dead weight in challenges.

Kyle: I don't know Stan. Getting rid of Bebe will make us a better tribe in the short term, but we got to think big picture here. Cartman already has Butters and Kenny on his side. If he can get a majority of the tribe in his alliance, you and I are going to be in great danger.

Stan Marsh: He's not going to get a majority dude. You have Ike on your side, and I have Wendy, who hates Cartman's guts. Trust me, he will not get a majority.

Kyle: (still apprehensive) Whatever you say dude.

(Meanwhile, on the other side of camp, Cartman and his alliance are chilling by the campfire discussing strategy.)

Cartman: So, you guys know who to vote for, right?

Kenny: (muffled voice)

Butters: Uhh…sure, whatever you say Eric.

Day 3: Tribal Council

(The South Park Tribe members enter the outdoor tribal council area, which is a circular stone structure with a giant campfire in the middle. They take their seats on wooden stumps as Bart enters the tribal council area and takes a seat on the other side.)

Bart: Welcome to tribal council, South Park tribe! Given your rough start to the game, it should come as no surprise that you wound up here tonight. Stan, what do you think has gone wrong for you guys so far?

Stan: Well Bart, we're not doing so badly with the survival aspect of the game. We have food, a fire and shelter. The problem for us has been the challenges. We have had some tribe members underperform in those challenges, and that's why we are in this position right now.

Bart: Kyle, what do you think should be done to improve this tribe?

Kyle: We need to get on the same page. I know it's Survivor and there are going to be alliances within a tribe. But when the tribe comes to perform in a challenge, we need to put those aside and work together to defeat the MacFarlane Tribe.

Bart: Cartman, same question.

Cartman: Bart, I'm not going to acknowledge that question with a response because we all know who the problem person is in this tribe. (points to Kyle)

Kyle: Hey, fuck you fatass! When I win the million, I'm not giving you a dime.

Cartman: Duh, of course you won't because you're a filthy, stingy Jew!

Kyle: Hey, I….I walked right into that insult, I must admit. (Cartman smirks triumphantly)

Bart: Interesting, very interesting. Okay, it is time to vote. Kyle, get us started.

[Kyle walks to the voting booth on the other side of the tribal council area. He grabs a pen and a piece of paper, writes down a name and reveals it to the camera. It should come as no surprise that the paper says CARTMAN.]

Kyle: Whatever he's got planned, I'm going to stop it before it begins. See ya fatass!

[Shot of Wendy voting, then Bebe, and then Stan votes for BEBE.]

Stan: Kyle has a good point about Cartman, but if we get rid of Bebe, then we have a better chance of winning challenges.

[Shot of Butters voting, Ike voting, Kenny voting, and then Cartman votes for KYLE.]

Cartman: Go back to Jersey you Jew rat! [Cartman puts his vote in the box and returns to his seat.]

Bart: I will go tally the votes. (Bart leaves briefly and then comes back with the voting box.) I'm sure you guys have seen Survivor, but I'm contractually obligated to go over the rules, so here goes: Once the votes are tallied, the decision is final and the person voted off will be forced to leave the tribal council immediately. I will now read the votes.

(Bart pulls first vote out of box.)

Bart: First vote…Kyle…Second vote is for Cartman…Third vote…Bebe….Fourth vote is another for Bebe. Fifth vote is the second for Kyle. Next vote is…Bebe. That's three for Bebe, two for Kyle and one for Cartman. Next vote…is for Bebe, which means the last vote does not matter. Bebe, bring me your torch.

(Bebe grabs her torch and walks up to Bart, who is waiting with the snuffer.)

Bart: Bebe Stevens, the tribe has spoken. (Bart extinguishes the flame) It's time to go. (Bebe walks down the path towards the confessional booth.) To the rest of you, congratulations on surviving the first three days. Maybe this tribal council is exactly what your team needed. You all head back to camp while I head back to my five-course dinner. (The South Park Tribe members grab their torches and head back to camp.)

Confessional 

Bebe: Am I mad about being voted off? (snorts) Hell no! Being stranded here in the icky wilderness is not worth a million dollars. Besides, my family is already one of the richest in South Park, so I don't really need the money. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to civilization.

Next Time on South Park vs. Seth MacFarlane Survivor

*Can Kyle and Cartman put their differences aside long enough to win a challenge?

*Quagmire begins his courtship of Lois behind Peter's back. How will Lois respond?

*Who will be the next castaway voted off?

Tribal Council Vote #1

Candidate (# of votes)

Bebe (4)

Stan

Ike

Kenny

Wendy

Kyle (2)

Cartman

Butters

Cartman (2)

Kyle

Bebe


	2. Chapter 2

South Park vs. Seth MacFarlane Survivor

Episode 2 

Bart: Last episode, the 16 castaways from South Park and the Seth McFarlane shows got their first taste of life in the Australian Outback.

For the South Park Tribe, the first three days down under were rough as the fighting between Cartman and Kyle tore the tribe apart. The kids from Colorado would go on to lose both the reward challenge and the immunity challenge on their way to tribal council, where Bebe Stevens became the first person voted out this season by a 4-2-2 vote.

While the MacFarlane Tribe has the momentum going into day 4, signs of trouble to come are forming. Peter and the guys are plotting to vote off the women, Lois and Francine, one by one. Quagmire, however, is hatching his plan to vote Peter off so he can get with Lois. Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie have formed their own separate alliance that could prove to be a dangerous combination.

Can the South Park tribe turn it around? Which alliance will become the most powerful in the MacFarlane tribe? Who will be voted off next? Let's find out.

South Park Tribe, Day 4

(Kyle wakes up and walks over to the creek to go for a swim. He notices that Wendy is already there.)

Kyle: So….last night's tribal council sucked. I can't believe, after everything Cartman has put us through back home, he is still here. (sighs) Well, at least you and I were smart enough to vote for Cartman, right?

Wendy: Uhhh….actually Kyle, I voted for Bebe.

(Kyle's eyes grow wide with shock.)

Kyle: You voted off your best friend instead of Cartman?! But why Wendy?

Wendy: I know, I know. But Stan talked me into it. He was right about Bebe bringing us down in the challenges. Without her, we have a better chance against the MacFarlane Tribe. Besides, Cartman still doesn't have enough people on his side for a full alliance, so we can always vote him off later.

(Kyle and Wendy stay in the creek for a bit before joining the rest of the tribe for breakfast. Stan gives a Kyle and Wendy a bewildered look as they approach the campfire. Cartman, seeing the look on Stan's face, seizes the opportunity to try and create tension between the friends.)

Cartman: Uh-oh, you guys! Kyle and Wendy sitting in a tree, K-i-s-s-i-n…

Kyle: Man, f- off Cartman! I wouldn't hit on my best friend's girlfriend behind his back because, unlike you, I have morals!

Cartman: Say what you want Kyle, but if Wendy wakes up with Gingervitis tomorrow morning, we'll know exactly why.

(Kyle lets out an annoyed, exasperated grunt before taking his rations of rice and sitting next to Stan.)

Kyle: (whispering) You believe me, right Stan?

Stan: (hesitant) Sure…of course dude.

_Kyle: I still can't believe Wendy voted off Bebe. It just goes to show that, out here, no friendship is sacred and no one can be fully trusted…especially if their last name is Cartman._

_Stan: I'm about 90% sure Kyle wasn't hitting on Wendy, but there still is that lingering 10% of doubt. I mean, I watched Season 1 and saw how Harry and Ron were temporarily torn apart by their love for Hermione. So, it can happen._

_Ike: I don't like medicine!_

MacFarlane Tribe, Day 4

(Just like the first three days, Peter and the guys continue to chill by the campfire and not contribute to helping out around camp. Meanwhile, Lois and Francine are in the forest gathering edible plants.)

Francine: Can you believe the nerve of those guys making us do all the work?

Lois: I know, and here I was thinking this would be a good opportunity for Peter and I to bond as a couple, but instead he's just hanging with the guys like he's at the Drunken Clam.

Francine: Well, I say we put an end to it once and for all. At our first tribal council, let's vote off Peter. He's the leader of that group, so if we vote him off, the rest of the guys are bound to fall in line.

Lois: What?! Do you actually expect me to vote against my husband?

Francine: Only one person wins this game Lois, and if you want that person to be you, you'll have to vote off Peter eventually.

Lois: Well, you got me there. (hears the trees rustling behind her and turns around) Quagmire? What are you doing here?

Quagmire: Oh, you know, just wanted to check on you two and see if you needed any help. (Lois and Francine exchange quizzical looks) I know this looks suspicious, but I want to help out the tribe.

Lois: Well, great Quagmire! We could use an extra hand to find food, hunt animals and gather wood for the fire.

Quagmire: Okay, I'll go look over there. (He walks to one side of the woods while Lois goes the other way and Francine stays put.)

_Quagmire: Today, I started phase 1 of Operation Get With Lois. First, I'll help her out around camp and gain her trust. Next, I'll get rid of Peter, and then Lois and I will go all the way to the top. Heh Heh Oh right!_

_Francine: I'm still not too sure about whose side Quagmire is on. I'm going to need to test his loyalty before we bring him into the alliance._

Day 5: Reward Challenge

(The two tribes head to an open field and see six spears, three for each tribe and two piles of coconuts with two hoops in the distance. Between the two piles of coconuts stands Bart, and the tribes gather in front of him.)

Bart: I hope you all got a good night's sleep. (smirks) I know I did.

Brian: The host accommodations are awesome, aren't they?

Bart: You know it dawg.

Stan Marsh: Bart, I swear to God if you rub your five-star hotel room in our faces again, I'm going to kick your ass.

Bart: But I haven't even mentioned the all-you-can-eat buffet.

(Cartman begins to charge towards Bart before being held back by Butters and Kenny.)

Cartman: You son of a bitch! Don't toy with me with false hopes of unlimited food!

Bart: Whoa, chill fat boy. Just win today's reward challenge, and your tribe will get to have its own private cookout complete with burgers, hot dogs, soft drinks, the works.

(The possibility of a cookout calms Cartman considerably.)

Cartman: Alright, so what do we have to do?

Bart: In the first round, each tribe has to choose three members to throw spears. A member from each tribe will face off in three rounds, and the survivor who throws the spear the furthest wins a point for their tribe. In round two, the three members from each tribe will try and throw coconuts into those basketball hoops. As before, one from each tribe will face off head-to-head, and the first survivor to get three coconuts through the hoop wins a point for their tribe. Tribes will be allowed to switch out one castaway from their lineup in between rounds one and two. The tribe with the most points wins the cookout. In the event of a tie after round two, one member from each tribe will face off in a sudden-death round, with the first survivor to get a coconut through the hoop winning the challenge for their tribe. I know that's a whole lot of information, so do you guys have any questions before we start? (Peter raises his hand) Yes, Mr. Griffin?

Peter: Uhh, you lost me at the words "in the first round."

Bart: (exasperated) Ugh, I'm not starting from the beginning man. Just go ahead and pick your people already and we'll get started.

[The two tribes huddle up to vote on who will be their throwers. After a few minutes, the decisions have been made. The South Park Tribe send out Stan, Kyle and Cartman while the MacFarlane tribe picks Stan Smith, Peter and Quagmire. The six castaways competing line up behind their spears while the other survivors stand off to the side and support.]

Bart: Alright, let's get it on man! First, it's Stan vs. Stan. Stan, you throw first.

(Stan Marsh and Stan Smith look at each other confused.)

Stan Marsh: Which Stan, dude?

Bart: Oh right….Stan Smith, you go first.

[Stan Smith, being in great shape for his work with the CIA, throws it way down the field. Stan Marsh gives it a good effort, but is nowhere close to the other Stan's mark.]

Bart: Point to the MacFarlane tribe. Peter and Kyle, you're up next. Kyle, you throw first.

[Kyle's throw is not very far, even shorter than Stan's. It's better than Peter's though, as he throws the wrong way, not far from his fellow tribe members.]

Lois: PETER! What are you thinking? You could have really hurt someone!

Peter: Ohh, so this is not a fight to the death?

Bart: (under his breath) Wow, and I thought Homer was a doofus. (back to normal volume) Point to the South Park tribe! Last up are Cartman and Quagmire. Quagmire, you have the honors.

[Quagmire's throw, while not as mighty as Stan Smith's, is a very respectable mark. Cartman has the greatest heave out of the South Park tribe participants, but not good enough to top Quagmire.]

Bart: So, at the halfway point, it's MacFarlane tribe 2, South Park tribe 1. You may now choose to sub out someone in your tribe's lineup if you wish to do so.

[It's a no-brainer for the MacFarlane Tribe, as they take out Peter and put in Cleveland.]

Cleveland: You guys are just putting me in because I'm black, aren't you? (MacFarlane tribe members nod.) (sarcastic tone) Oh, so the black guy must be good at basketball, right? Racists.

[The South Park tribe, on the other hand, decides to stick with their lineup as it is.]

Bart: Stan and Stan, go ahead and get round two underway.

[The two begin grabbing coconuts from the pile and shooting them at the hoop at a frantic pace. Stan Marsh ends up being the first to sink three baskets and gets the point for the South Park tribe.]

Bart: Alright, we're tied at two, so this point is very important. Cleveland and Kyle, you're up.

[Kyle has prior basketball experience, but his shots go everywhere but in the net as Cleveland sinks three to give the MacFarlane tribe the lead.]

Bart: Last up, we've got Cartman and Quagmire. If Quagmire wins this point, he wins the challenge for the MacFarlane tribe. Ready….GO!

[The two castaways throw coconuts at the net as quickly as they can. However, Cartman's shots don't make it anywhere close to the net. Quagmire wins the point with ease. The ecstatic MacFarlane tribe mobs Quagmire to congratulate him. Lois gives him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Meanwhile, Kyle stares angrily at Cartman.]

Bart: Congratulations once again goes out to the MacFarlane tribe! Your cookout will be waiting for you back at your camp. I'll see you all again tomorrow for the immunity challenge.

[The MacFarlane tribe is so excited for food they run back to camp. The South Park tribe walks away slowly with their heads down.]

MacFarlane Tribe, Day 5

(The eight castaways are gathered around the campfire enjoying the spoils of their victory. Stewie and Brian are off together to one side of the campfire.)

Stewie: Excellent! Real American food and we didn't have to do a thing to get it!

Brian: Yeah, no thanks to Peter though.

Stewie: Yeah, fat man has to go. He is completely clueless.

(On the other side of the camp, Francine approaches Quagmire.)

Francine: Great job winning the challenge for us today!

Quagmire: Thanks. I know a thing or two about putting objects in small holes. Giggity!

Francine: Anyway, have you thought about whom you want to vote off?

Quagmire: Not really. Who do you have in mind?

Francine: Well, Peter hasn't done a thing around camp and failed miserably at the challenge.

Quagmire: Those are both great points. Let's try to win immunity again tomorrow, but if we don't, Peter is definitely a lead candidate.

_Francine: I guess Quagmire is on our side after all. I thought it would take some persuading since Peter is his best friend, but he agreed with me immediately._

_Quagmire: If we lose tomorrow, Peter is as good as gone._

South Park Tribe, Day 5

(The alliance of Eric Cartman is convening out in the woods.)

Cartman: Gentlemen, I think we can all agree that it is Kyle who cost us that challenge.

Kenny: [muffled voice]

Cartman: I know I didn't score any points Kenny! But if Peter wasn't an idiot, Kyle wouldn't have scored any points either. Everyone knows Jews can't play sports. Right, Butters?

Butters: Uhh…yeah, you betcha Eric!

(Meanwhile, Kyle, Ike, Stan and Wendy are tending the fire and preparing another dinner of rice and plants.)

Stan: I wonder what Cartman and his gang are up to?

Kyle: Well, Cartman is probably bad-mouthing me even though he lost us the challenge, Butters is blindly agreeing with him, and Kenny is thinking about boobs.

Stan: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Kyle: They're probably going to try and vote me off again.

Stan: Dude, as long as we have more people here than Cartman has in his alliance, it doesn't matter. Right, Wendy? (Wendy is gazing out in the distance) Wendy?

Wendy: Oh, uh…yeah, of course.

Day 6: Immunity Challenge

(The castaways walk into the same open field as the reward challenge, except this time the area has been transformed into a square arena with a center line and six red rubber balls in the middle. Many of the survivors are excited by the sight, others not so much.)

_Kyle: A dodgeball game? Dude, where's Pip when you need him?_

Bart: Just by looking at the challenge for today, you all can probably figure out what we're doing. We're going to be playing a good old-fashioned game of dodgeball, six on each side. When you're hit by a ball, you're out. If you catch a ball, the other guy is out and a player on your team gets to go back into the game. First team to be eliminated loses and must go to tribal council tonight. MacFarlane Tribe, if I may have the immunity idol back please?

Peter: Oh, but I'm using it as my hat weight. (Peter points to the immunity idol, which is currently weighing down his hat.)

Bart: (smacks his forehead) You cannot be serious. Give me that. (Bart grabs the idol and Peter's hat flies away in the wind.)

Peter: You sir, owe me a hat.

Bart: Whatever, I'll send you a bill. Before we start, MacFarlane tribe, you need to pick two people to sit out, and South Park tribe, you need to pick one. [South Park tribe picks Ike to sit out while MacFarlane Tribe chooses Peter and Francine.] Okay, the rest of you, line up on the end lines so we can get started. (Survivors take their positions) Survivors Ready…DODGEBALL! (No one moves) That means go!

[The two teams of six sprint towards the balls. Wendy gets a quick elimination, taking out Cleveland. While Wendy is celebrating, Lois pegs her in the leg with a ball, evening things up at five apiece. Cartman, Quagmire and both Stans go out in rapid succession to make a three per side matchup. Kyle hurls one as hard as he can, only to have it caught by Brian, allowing Stan Smith to rejoin the match. Kenny tries to rally, as he takes out Stewie, but Lois gets him out shortly thereafter, leaving Butters all alone against Lois, Stan Smith and Brian. Butters grabs a ball on his side of the court, blocks a throw from Stan and another from Brian. He then throws his ball, getting Stan right in the foot. His South Park teammates cheer on Butters, as he grabs another ball, hitting Lois right in the nose.]

Butters: Oh, hamburgers! Are you okay?

[Butters's kindness proves to be his downfall, however, as Brian catches him off guard with a throw to the leg. MacFarlane tribe wins.]

Bart: MacFarlane Tribe, once again you win, and once again you all remain in the game for three more days! Here is your immunity idol! (Bart hands the idol to the sole survivor of the match, Brian, who hoists it above his head while the South Park Tribe looks on dejectedly.)

Kyle: Goddamnit….GODDAMNIT!

South Park Tribe: Day 6

(Another convening of the Cartman alliance.)

Cartman: Damn it Butters, you black asshole! You cost us the damn challenge!

Butters: Gee, sorry fellas, but I sure did give it my best.

Cartman: Whatever, it doesn't matter. What's done is done, and we need to talk about tribal council.

Butters: Well….we're just going to vote for Kyle again, right Eric?

Cartman: Not this time. Things have changed a little bit.

Kenny: [muffled voice]

Cartman: I'm glad you asked Kenny. Come in a little closer. (Cartman, Butters and Kenny huddle up and speak in whispers.)

Day 6: Tribal Council

(The South Park Tribe members walk in with their torches and take their seats on the wooden stumps. It is raining, making it hard to keep the torches lit. Bart walks in a few minutes later in a raincoat.)

Bart: It looks the weather right now reflects the mood in your camp. Four challenges, four losses. Kyle, what have you guys got to do to turn this around?

Kyle: Well, the bright side to tribal councils early in the game is the opportunity to get rid of some undesirable elements and become more of a tribe. I'm really confident that we will be able to accomplish that tonight.

Bart: Butters, your performance at the end of the immunity challenge is a large reason your tribe is here tonight. Do you feel like you're in danger?

Butters: Oh, gee whiz.. I feel so bad about that. I just hope my fellow tribe members can find it in their heart to forgive me.

Bart: Okay, enough chatting. Time to vote. Stan, you go ahead and lead us off.

[Stan, walks to voting booth, grabs a paper and pen and votes for CARTMAN.] Stan: I'm convinced after today that either Kyle or Cartman has to go. Kyle's my best friend, so that leaves Cartman. See ya fat ass!

[Shots of Kenny, Butters and Wendy voting. Kyle grabs his sheet of paper and also votes for CARTMAN.] We've got you this time fat ass! [Kyle puts in bucket, followed by shots of Ike and Cartman casting their votes.]

Bart: I will now go tally the votes. (Bart leaves and then comes back a short while later with the bucket.) Once the votes are tallied, the decision is final…blah, blah, blah. Time to read the votes.

{Bart pulls out the first sheet of paper.] First vote is for….Cartman. Second Vote….Cartman. Third Vote is for….Stan. (The looks of confidence on the faces of Kyle and Stan suddenly fade.) Fourth vote…is another for Stan. Fifth vote….is for Cartman.. Sixth vote….a third for Stan. That's three votes Stan, three votes Cartman, with one vote left. [Pulls out last vote] and that vote is for….Stan Marsh. Bring me your torch, man.

(Kyle is stunned by the turn of events as Stan brings his torch over to Bart, bewildered by the turn of events.]

Bart: Stan Marsh, the tribe has spoken. (extinguishes torch) It's time for you to go. (Stan walks towards the confessional area.) Well, well, well. That was certainly a game-changing vote. You all better head back to camp before this storm starts to pick up. You'll have a lot to think about on the way. Good night! (The remaining six members of the South Park tribe grab their torches and head back to camp.)

Confessional

Stan: I guess that's Survivor for ya. We had the numbers going in, or so I thought. Obviously, someone betrayed me tonight, but I cannot figure out who. On the bright side, at least I get to go chill with Bart in his five-star hotel now. Peace out, dude!

Tribal Council Vote #2

Stan might not know who betrayed him, but now you do:

Candidate (# of votes)

Stan (4)

Cartman

Butters

Kenny

Wendy

Cartman (3)

Kyle

Stan

Ike


End file.
